Humorous Text Messages

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If you're looking for funny quotes, jokes, and humorous thoughts, we've got them right here. Enjoy texts sure to put a smile on your face daily.



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Get a daily laugh from these humorous jokes and quips about, you guessed it, love, sex and marriage.



Bisexuality doubles your chances of a date on a Saturday night. - Woody Allen


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Funny quotes about drinking and drugs.



I drink to make other people interesting. - George Jean Nathan


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Don't get stressed over money - get a laugh out of it instead. These daily quotes will make you chuckle and are sure to brighten your day.



All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy. - Spike Milligan


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Daily famouse quotes about old age are sure to brighten your day.



They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days. - Garrison Kielor.


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If you like dry humor then you're in for a treat. These great one liners and jabs from comic Steven Wright are hilarious.



All of the people in my building are insane. The guy above me designs synthetic hairballs for ceramic cats. The lady across the hall tried to rob a department store...with a pricing gun...She said, "Give me all of the money in the vault, or I'm marking... [more]

Daily Text Message