If you're looking for funny quotes, jokes, and humorous thoughts, we've got them right here. Enjoy texts sure to put a smile on your face daily.

Love, Sex & Marriage Quotes   [humlsm] [Subscribe]
Get a daily laugh from these humorous jokes and quips about, you guessed it, love, sex and marriage.

Today's Message: I don't think I'll get married again. I'll just find a woman I don't like and give her a house. - Lewis Grizzard

Drinking And Drugs Quotes   [humdd] [Subscribe]
Funny quotes about drinking and drugs.

Today's Message: The difference between a drunk and a alcoholic is that a drunk doesn't have to attend all those meetings. - Arthur Lewis

Money Quotes   [hummq] [Subscribe]
Don't get stressed over money - get a laugh out of it instead. These daily quotes will make you chuckle and are sure to brighten your day.

Today's Message: It is only by not paying ones bills that one can hope to live in the memory of the commercial classes. - Oscar Wilde

Old Age Quotes   [humoaq] [Subscribe]
Daily famouse quotes about old age are sure to brighten your day.

Today's Message: At my age flowers scare me. - George Burns.

Steven Wright   [humswr] [Subscribe]
If you like dry humor then you're in for a treat. These great one liners and jabs from comic Steven Wright are hilarious.

Today's Message: I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done. - Steven Wright

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